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October Evolution

 

I took a well-needed break from Facebook in October and resolved to reconnect with the people who mean the most to me. Reflecting on the October that I experienced is almost as emotional as the experience of the October itself. Starting with the joyous celebration of a love that took the scenic route, when Pauline and Mark got married. Followed swiftly by the devastating loss our beautiful, intelligent, and vibrant friend Angela. She was a force of nature and she leaves a gaping void that will not be filled any time soon.

At her funeral, as it always happens, we rekindled some old friendships; something I am so grateful for and happy about, because I’ve missed them. We transformed some acquaintances to friendships; when you meet someone whose very presence, let alone her words, carry gravity, you must take notice.

Then a work colleague of Joyce’s had a little baby girl. Then our own baby girl turned 4 years old and at every turn more evidence, as if I needed it, of her seemingly unbounded propensity to love. Her heart is enormous, and I want to be like her when I grow up.  Then a little neurosis around personal demons, followed closely by the confrontation of those demons and the realisation that new and different ways of expressing your reality keeps things fresh. Then a wonderful catch up session with my eldest nephew who, somehow, is now a man! After that catchup you may consider the world put to rights.

I’ve been depressed, devastated, pessimistic, encouraged, elated and immensely grateful: Quite the rollercoaster.

We’re well into November now and I feel extremely emotional, vulnerable (that’s good – just to be clear) and never in my life have I felt so frickin’ invincible.

I realize that, no matter what, the sun will rise, there will be better days than this and there will be far worse ones. It’s up to us to, as Joyce puts it,

Get up, dress up and show up

to whatever our new normal is.

I thank October for this lesson, because it highlights just how important the people in my life are to my ability to do just that.

I thank November for presenting The Donald as a circumstance that invites me to put this into immediate practice; very timely it must be said.

4 Comments

  1. Elaine Fitzgibbon , on Nov 10, 2016 at 17:26 Reply

    Lovely, honest piece of writing. It made me realise as always when I read pieces like this that I don’t appreciate all the good, kind and loving people that I am surrounded by. Thank you Ronan for the reminder.

    Elaine x

    • rflood , on Nov 11, 2016 at 00:39 Reply

      Thanks for the lovely comments Elaine. I think we are all guilty of waiting for something as profound as a funeral to recognise what’s in front of our noses. We need reminding from time to time….. preferably while those gorgeous people are still around for us to tell them they are gorgeous.
      R.

  2. annette , on Nov 10, 2016 at 18:49 Reply

    Loved reading this Ro………..always great to see you although it was a very sad time losing Angela……..door always open in Maynooth hope to see you guys sometime soon xx

    • rflood , on Nov 11, 2016 at 00:36 Reply

      Thanks for taking the time Annette. It was a very sad time but so lovely to see you there. The Blessington contingent will definitely be descending on Maynooth. Big hugs.
      R.

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